“Would you like to add guacamole, it costs $1.99 extra?””No thanks, I have to save up for a car, a house, grad school, a ring, a wedding, and retirement.”

“You hear about that missing plane?”

One lady on my team has been wearing a huge ski coat indoors while seated at her desk for the last month or so. You can’t be that cold. PGP.

The Olympics: when everyone’s an expert for like two weeks. PGP.

Everyone telling war stories about driving in as soon as they arrive on a morning when you got 2 inches of snow. PGP.

Whenever someone says something especially stupid at a meeting, I often wonder what would happen if I jumped across the table and falcon punched them. PGP.

When quickly walking to the printer without shoes on is the most adventurous and risky thing you’ve done all week. PGP.

Fat coworkers comparing the Thanksgiving leftovers they brought in for lunch. PGP.

I just alphabetized the shit out of my filing cabinet. PGP.

Repeatedly explaining basic Microsoft Office commands to older coworkers. PGP.