“Sort by price: low – high”

I keep calling my desk phone from my cell phone to make it sound like im busy PGP.

The panic you feel when your boss asks, “So what have you been working on?” PGP.

I can’t imagine how tired I’d be if I actually worked 40 hours. PGP.

We don’t have any secret bathrooms in this building. PGP.

Timing your lunch break so it begins right as your boss’s ends so he has less time in the day to notice your lack of importance. PGP.

Looking forward to turning 25 because your insurance rates go down. PGP.

There’s a special circle of Hell reserved for those who request read receipts on emails. PGP.

I’m pretty sure I would be 30% more productive if I saw daylight more. PGP.

Having a “noticeable increase in production” before your performance review. PGP.