Embrace The ‘Stache This Movember

Embrace The 'Stache This Movember

I’ve done the whole beard thing before. I’ve listed out the pros and cons of having a beard, I’ve tracked my daily beard-growing progress that culminated in winning the award for Best Playoff Beard in Northern Michigan, and I’ve made everyone at aprés ski wonder if Henrik Zetterberg was slaying pitchers in the corner.

But something I’ve never experimented with is a mustache. As a mid-20s (okay, late) dude, I haven’t fallen into either of the categories that are required in order to have a mustache — hipsters or pedophiles. But now, I think I want to embrace it. After having one for 24 hours before being shamed into shaving it by numerous girls, I feel like a junkie desperately looking for another hit. I crave that little flavor savor on my upper lip. I want the respect that it commands. I want my mustache back.

Luckily for me, it’s Halloween — October 31st, for you non-observers — which happens to be the perfect day to bring it back. Not because I’m going out as Tom Selleck a la Magnum PI, or as Ron Swanson from Parks & Rec. But because it’s the perfect day to grow a mustache and make a difference.

Tomorrow, November 1st, marks the first day of 2015’s Movember. Not familiar with it? Here’s a little explanation straight from the horse’s mouth:

The Movember Foundation is a global charity committed to men living happier, healthier, longer lives. Since 2003, millions have joined the men’s health movement, raising $650 million and funding over 1,000 programs focusing on prostate cancer, testicular cancer, poor mental health and physical inactivity.

Not totally familiar with the issues at hand? Here’s a little briefer.

Prostate Cancer: Prostate cancer is the second most common cancer in men in the US.

Testicular Cancer: Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in young men aged 15-34 in the US.

Poor Mental Health: Around 1 in 4 adults in the US will experience a mental health problem in a given year.

Physical Inactivity: Around half (53.8%) of American men meet the federal guidelines for physical activity.

It’s pretty simple, really. You sign up and grow your mustache until December 1st while simultaneously raising funds and awareness for men’s health. Here, I’ve already started my own campaign where you can donate or join along with me to help the cause. This way we can promote men’s health while also grossing out every girl we encounter with my disgustingly awesome mustaches.

Are you of the fairer species and thinking to yourself, “Hey Will, I can’t grow a mustache! I’m a girl!”? Wrong. Sign up and do your part in another way:

I challenge everyone to channel your inner-Burt Reynolds, think about how avoiding shaving for a month could affect others, and most importantly, embrace the ‘stache. #EmbraceTheStache

Image via Post Grad Problems

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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