YouTube-ing “How to _____ in Excel.” PGP.

“No, I still don’t want any Advocare products.” PGP.

Ordering the fresh fruit as a side instead of french fries. PGP.

“Hey guys, we’re actually booked to use the conference room at this time.” PGP.

When “I’m gonna take it easy this weekend” means “I’m broke as shit.” PGP.

Compulsively checking your bank account. PGP.

Alt-tabbing from one unproductive screen to another when your boss comes to your desk. PGP.

Death by data entry. PGP.

Had two bowls of ice cream last night. Woke up in a cold sweat at 4am and dry heaved for an hour. My body prevents joy from entering my life in any form. PGP.

Contemplating marriage strictly for the tax breaks. PGP.

My boss and I are wearing the same exact pair of shoes today. PGP.

Being assigned the desk with a broken chair that slowly lowers your height throughout the day. PGP.