Any time someone emails me with a question, it takes every ounce of my will power not to answer, “I have no fucking idea, dude.” PGP.

Getting a call for an interview, but having no clue what it’s for because you’ve applied to so many jobs. PGP.

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

She’s office hot. PGP.

Getting the high score on the blood pressure monitor at your local CVS. PGP.

My boss types with two fingers. PGP.

Having to look the cleaning guy in the eye after exiting a stall. PGP.

Repeatedly explaining basic Microsoft Office commands to older coworkers. PGP.

Until recently, I thought Ariana Grande was a font in Microsoft Office. PGP.

The countdown to happy hour started at the end of last night’s happy hour. PGP.

An overweight coworker telling you that your lunch is unhealthy. PGP.

I’ve been actively picking my nose at my desk for twenty minutes. PGP.