You either quit a hero, or work here long enough to see yourself become the villain.

I still have no clue how we continue to make Fortune’s 100 Best Companies To Work For. PGP

Coming in for a full day with nothing to do but attend a meeting scheduled for the last hour. PGP.

Well today has turned into a run out the clock situation…..again

Pissing as loud as possible to let everyone in the bathroom know you probably have a big dick. PGPM

Got caught picking my nose by a quiet-footed coworker walking by my office. PGP

I’ve already been at work for an hour, and the most productive thing I’ve done was Instagram my breakfast..

I’ve received 3 emails in the past hour reminding me we don’t have Columbus Day off.

Jordan Spieth is 10 million dollars richer and I’m struggling to save over 500 bucks a month. PGP.

Had to walk to the bathroom on other side of the building because all the stalls were taken. It was 8am. PGP.