Lying about having seen a YouTube video so you don’t have to stand there and watch it.

My Tinder matches give me pep talks.

Being torn between belittling judgement and fleeting jealousy of people who still live with their parents. PGP.

I’ve never been asked for proof that I graduated. PGP.

More like DRINK DE MAYO. AMIRIGHT?! (Just kidding, I’m at work and went to bed at 9:30 last night.) PGP

Not having enough energy at 5:00 for that pity laugh in regards to your boss’s crappy joke. PGP.

I remember when waking up stiff in the morning was a good thing. PGP.

Icing your ankle after softball while watching 21-year-olds get drafted into the NFL.

I still make out in bars.PGP