I got a raise and have no idea how or why it happened. I’m not asking questions. PGP.

My company not having its shit together is the only thing keeping me from being fired. PGP.

1: “Did you already eat lunch?” 2: “Yeah.” 1: “Do you want to go to Chili’s anyway?” 2: “Yeah.” PGP.

Friday, you son of a bitch! PGP.

I hate not being able to afford something far more than I would enjoy owning it. PGP.

Should’ve stayed the fuck home. PGP.

Parents bought a pack of batteries for my niece and nephews’ gifts. Took a couple for my vibrator. Happy holidays. PGP.

Pregamed my hometown bars at Applebee’s. PGP.

Thought I could get away with wearing jeans into our near-empty office today. Still got called into HR. PGP.

Monday, you son of a bitch. PGP.