The bare minimum I do is starting to exceed expectations. PGP.

I just changed my Netflix password and got angry texts from three of my exes. HBO Go is next. PGPM.

Everything in my cube shakes when my coworkers walk by. PGP.

The less people I have to talk to in the morning, the better. PGP.

Unsubscribing from the TFM email list. PGP.

“Why did the guys in marketing get a half day?” PGP.

These Cyber Monday deals aren’t that good. PGP.

I have more leftover booze than I have leftover food. So, this is how I die. PGP.

Seeing something NSFW online and immediately going to your phone to look at it. PGP.

My horrendous time management skills are only rivaled by Andy Reid. PGP.