Needing to have a break up conversation with a girl after only two weeks of hanging out. PGP.

Rosterbating at work. PGP.

Purposely taking your sweet ass time during the fire drill. PGP.

I literally did nothing at work today. Seriously, nothing. PGP.

Office hosted a “Sunday Funday” yesterday. Got three “Where are you?” emails before 7 a.m. PGP.

Puked, but did not rally. PGP.

Going from “it’s not alcoholism until you graduate” to “it’s not alcoholism until you’re married.” PGP.

Debating if anyone will notice if I leave work six hours early. PGP.

You don’t know evil till you meet a bathroom whistler. PGP.