Swiping left on the hot 21-year-olds just to spare myself the rejection. PGP.

Making the wardrobe transformation from “business professional” to “homeless person” as soon as you get home. PGP.

My last day at my job is in ten days, my password expires in six. PGP.

Having more sex in one day than you did in the past year. PGP.

Having to stock up on toilet paper for your fantasy draft party. PGP.

Keeping your diploma over your liquor shelf to remind yourself that you can still accomplish things when you spend most of your time drunk. PGP.

“Come to my office,” really just means “come and hang out for 20 minutes while waiting for your superior to answer their own question.” PGP.

We have a “Senior Analyst” who is 24. PGP.

I ate a hamburger bun for breakfast. PGP.