Went to apologize to my boss for being late. He had no idea who I was. #PGP

The last two girls I have been with have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

I don’t recognize half the last names on my newsfeed. PGP

Quickest Alt+Tab reflexes West of the Mississippi. PGP.

Too old to sit in the student section, too rowdy to be tolerated in the regular seats. #PGP

The Saved By The Bell cast currently looks younger than I do. PGP.

My job required me to use a typewriter today. PGP.

Mondays are the Left Shark of the work week.

The most daring thing I’ve done this week was like an Instagram pic by a girl three points out of my league. PGP.

“I know you already left the office, but can you handle this right now?” PGP.