Genuinely excited to spend the night in my pajamas watching Netflix. PGP.

Got a Happy Birthday email from my bank before a call, text or Facebook post from any of my friends. PGP.

Today in the middle of a meeting I dropped my pen on purpose, just to feel alive again. It was a rush. PGP.

I’m old enough to remember when Facebook required you to have a .edu email address to become a member. PGP.

Saying you’re in your “mid-20s” at 27. PGP.

People who put “(Name), MBA” in their email signatures like they’re a fucking doctor. PGP.

Knowing exactly how far you can drive with the “empty gas tank” light on. PGP.

“The SEC network comes with your digital starter package but is not offered in your area at this time.” PGP.

Realizing “Friends” is bullshit, because I don’t even know five single people much less hang out with them across the hall. PGP.

“Let’s do lunch soon!” really just means “Let’s do lunch never.” PGP.