I eat at the same five places every week. PGP.

Couldn’t use a lot of my vacation days this year. Took off every Friday until 2015. PGPM.

I found out that my boss’s monthly dog food budget is almost exactly four times my monthly human food budget. PGP.

My Halloween news feed went from a bunch of girls in slutty costumes to a bunch of babies in costumes. PGP.

Being jealous of the potential Ebola patients who are quarantined at home for 21 days. PGP.

Feeling untouchable after your boss comes to talk to you and you actually have work on your computer screen. PGP.

Went through 30 pages of PGPs. Still not time to go home. PGP.

It’s “bring your space heater to work” season. PGP.

Showing my boss – who makes a quarter of a million dollars a year – how to make “cool bullet sounds” for his PowerPoint presentation. PGP.

The back of my cube is a wall, so no one can see my screen. I feel like a god. PGP.