1: “She looks 20. Too young for you, bro.” 2: “Society blows.” PGP.

I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. PGP.

Sitting down in the shower. PGP.

1: “Jeff’s wife just died” 2: “Who’s Jeff?” PGP.

Last Cinco de Mayo, I ripped Tecate bongs and tequila haircuts. Yesterday, I fell asleep on the couch halfway through an episode of “Louie.” PGP.

The last time I blacked out was on leg day. PGP.

Accidentally swiped left on the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. PGP.

Microwaving toast. PGP.

Getting shin splints from stop-and-go traffic. PGP.

Identifying with George Costanza. PGP.