Your boss interrupting a call he made to you with “Hold on while I hit this next shot.” PGP.

Watching Spongebob with my nephew and exclusively identifying with Squidward. PGP.

Someone shared “12 things you never knew you could put in the dishwasher” on Facebook. I don’t have a dishwasher. PGP.

Ate a brownie. Unknowingly smeared brownie residue on a report. Get called into HR to discuss “the importance of washing my hands after leaving the restrooms.” PGP.

Listening to the execs plan their trip to the Hamptons. I’m excited for a seven dollar bar crawl this weekend. PGP.

“Have a safe 4th of July weekend!” Don’t tell me how to live my life. PGP.

My boss made a “You’ve been working very hard. Why don’t you take Friday off?” joke just now. I’ve been so out of it that I didn’t realize we already had it off. PGP.

The only hanging out I do anymore is via Google. PGP.

My boss says, “See you tomorrow?” instead of “See you tomorrow.” PGP.

Fighting the urge to respond, “Yeah, no shit” when your superior ends a conversation with “This is serious.” PGP.