When my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year, I asked for a sonicare toothbrush. PGP.

Forgetting everything you read on Friday in preparation for a Monday morning meeting. PGP.

Labor Day can’t come soon enough. PGP.

I don’t even look at the clock anymore. I tell time by how many times I click “I’m Still Listening” on Pandora. PGP.

The sense of impending doom that is returning to work after a holiday weekend. PGP.

Today my coworker told me I looked rough. I thought I looked nice today. PGP.

My coworkers always think I’m hungover when I’m really just tired. I wish I was as cool as they think. PGP.

Making a trip to the post office last three hours. PGP.

My parents told me that becoming a nun would solve both my employment and relationship problems. PGP.

Being on a first-name basis with the manager at Chipotle. PGP.