I feel personally victimized by the guy who pissed all over the handicapped toilet and didn’t even flush. PGP.

My workout last week was mowing my parents’ lawn on a riding mower. PGP.

When I started working here, the organizational chart seemed pretty clear. Now, I answer to four different people. PGP.

Spending more time perfecting my work playlist than doing actual work. PGP.

My favorite pen is an advertisement for Viagra. PGP.

Just had to fire the intern. Back to the bottom of the totem pole. PGP.

Realizing you’d rather start at the bottom somewhere else than advance within your current organization. PGP.

This morning, I had a bag of airline peanuts for breakfast from a flight I had last week. PGP.

I’m the only person in my office that didn’t take an extra day for the 4th. PGP.

There are hundreds of fruit flies terrorizing the break room. PGP.