Getting a technical issue resolved is determined solely by how much you’re willing to let the IT guy sexually harass you. PGP.

Riding a fine caffeinated line between falling asleep and having a seizure. PGP.

I think I may be the epitome of what’s wrong with this generation. PGP.

Pulling muscles you didn’t know you had. PGP.

I just got guilted into signing a birthday card for a woman who is a huge bitch to me. PGP.

Just got back from lunch, already hungry. PGP.

My undergrad friends think I’m boring, and my postgrad friends think I’m immature. PGP.

No boss, work when you want, get a nice tan…suddenly being homeless doesn’t look all that bad. PGP.

I spent a total of about 53 seconds outside today. PGP.

1: “I have a case of the Mondays.” 2: “No, you have that every single day.” PGP.