I took today off of work to relax and catch up on sleep. I forgot to turn my alarm off

A: This coffee tastes like shitB: Don’t you drink it daily though?A: Yeah, its free

That moment when you realize your parents were right. About everything. PGP.

My stock broker called me today “hey bud, are you going to need any of the money you invested in the next year or so? Because the market is going to shit”

Just introduced myself to someone for the 4th time since starting this job 2 months ago. PGP.

I don’y always drink beer, but when I do…its whatever is cheapest and I get absolutely annihilated.

There’s a Back to College snapchat story. PGP

Going from the “18-24” to “25-34” age demographic on forms. PGP.

Always running into the same guy in the bathroom.

“What are you doing for lunch today?” PGP.