It’s not even 9 AM and some savage ha already left the toilet unflushed. PGP

“All I want for Mother’s Day is for you to find a nice girl.” PGP.

Partner just said “It’s lit.” PGP.

I’m getting transferred to the office in the burbs and it’s advised that I move there so I can more easily identify with the rest of the employees. PGPM

Too old for tinder. Too young for Match.

My office phone just rang for the first time since I started working two months ago. The lady on the other end had the wrong extension and I had no idea how or where to forward her call and the entire experience was terrifying. PGP

Every time someone at work tells me a story, I want to just “honestly, I don’t give a fuck.”

No toilet paper at home, gotta hold it till work. PGP.

Quadruple bogied my quarterly sales review. Pgp.

“I’m not sure what your question is.” PGP.