Quickly realizing you can’t keep up on your first spring break of grad school.

Whoever said “30 is the new 20” has never had a hangover like mine.

Boss makes 3 times your salary but still types with two index fingers. PGP.

Knowing a trained monkey could do your job, then realizing you are a trained monkey. PGP.

The days just blur together, like episodes of Seinfeld after an Ambien. PGP.

Looking forward to another weekend of doing nothing. PGP.

Strategically planning out my sick days. PGPM

“Did you get your W2 yet?” PGP

Forgetting your headphones, then buying new ones in the train station because you can’t be alone with your thoughts for a whole day. PGP.

At the point in life where I get unreasonably annoyed at songs that glorify irresponsible financial decisions. PGP.