The old ladies at work tell me I dress like their husbands. PGP

Who needs birth control when you can just listen to your coworkers bitch about their kids all day, everyday.

Threatening to boycott your friends wedding if they don’t have an open bar. PGP

That primal rush when Chipotle doesn’t charge you for double meat.

I had to ask someone if I could email them a document because I don’t know how to work a fax machine. PGP.

The dad body with no intentions of becoming a father

My dad is the only person who “liked” my experience update on LinkedIn.

Rumor is the Director knocked up the intern, things just kicked up a notch today

Justin Spieth is 21 and won 1.8 million by winning The Masters. I’m 24 and won 2 bucks on a scratch off. PGP.

Sometimes I just sit on the toilet to avoid people. PGP.