Was asked why I don’t have kids yet today. PGP.

I’ve had the dad bod before dad bods were cool. PGP

Frantically pressing the close door button in the elevator at the sound of approaching footsteps. PGP.

Had Claritin-D and a Red Bull for breakfast this morning. PGP.

Your boss asking for a volunteer, but then just choosing you anyway

Hoping the interviewee gets hired so the company will pay you to go to lunch. PGP.

“Firing up” your computer in the morning. PGP

My desk computer loves running lengthy mandatory software updates exclusively on the days that I am currently running late.