I found the original Power Rangers on Netflix. All is lost. PGP.

Going back to college on weekends to show how successful you are at doing nothing. PGP.

One roommate is a car salesman and the other is a server. Both make more than I do, and I have an engineering degree. PGP.

My date didn’t want to come home with me, but she endorsed me on LinkedIn. So I wouldn’t count it as a total loss. PGP.

The guy without a college degree making twice as much as me. PGP.

Never being worried about random drug tests at the office until the Monday after homecoming weekend. PGP.

Today, I watched in horror as the violent flush of the handicapped stall shot a pellet-sized turd directly at me. It hit my crotch and then bounced into my shoe. PGP.

A girl from Tinder just found me on LinkedIn. PGP.

My company’s life insurance policy makes me worth more dead than alive. PGP.