Bringing your lunch to work so you can afford to drink after. PGP.

Can we all just agree that the international sign for “Leave me alone” is eating lunch at your desk? PGP.

Last night, I had a sex dream. Didn’t even wake up with a boner. PGP.

The combined record of my college team, my pro team, and my two fantasy football teams: 1-12. PGP.

I fucking love my Honda Accord. PGP.

Immediately crumpling up your ATM receipt to avoid seeing your account balance. PGP.

Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

All work and no play makes Jack a journalist. PGP.