The guy who doesn’t even pretend to care about making eye contact in the hallway. PGP.

Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.

I purposely print from the printer across the office to have an excuse to leave my desk. PGP.

Wednesday: Finally feel recovered from the weekend. Thursday: Happy hour. PGP.

“Are you reading PGP right now?” PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Considering rubbing one out in the office bathroom just to pass the time. PGP.

All the bathrooms in my building block phone and wifi signal. PGP.

Coffee simultaneously serving as a pick-me-up and a laxative. PGP.

A speeding ticket totally decimating your monthly budget. PGP.