The back of my cube is a wall, so no one can see my screen. I feel like a god. PGP.

Demanding that your colleagues pre-game a work-related charity event with you. PGP.

Got a Happy Birthday email from my bank before a call, text or Facebook post from any of my friends. PGP.

Current mood: Like mom just forgot to pick me up from soccer practice. PGP.

Big weekend. Think I’ll finally try and get the garage cleaned out. PGP.

“Did you get a haircut?” No, I actually showered today. PGP.

Some girl at homecoming was trying to guess my age and said 35. I’m 27. PGP.

Having to actually do work when PGP goes down for 30 minutes. PGP.

Getting a girlfriend was the best decision socially and worst decision financially. PGP.