My inbox is full, but my life is empty. PGP.

Knowing you’re being catfished on Tinder and still playing along with it. PGP.

Google is the only one outside of those with familial obligations that wished me a happy birthday. PGP.

Making more money than I ever have in my life, still managing to be broke as fuck. PGP.

My new drug dealer is my doctor. PGP.

Everyone in my company uses stand up desks. PGP.

Didn’t wake up as a Victoria’s Secret Angel this morning. PGP.

I ate healthy last week and still managed to gain two lbs. PGP.

Friendly reminders are never friendly. PGP.

I have to bring my own coffee to work. PGP.