I got a deluxe office chair because I said I was in a car accident. I’ve never been in a car accident.

We’re almost half way through the second quarter already

One of our suppliers gave me Lakers tickets. I sold them for cash. PGP.

There is a puddle of piss that accumulates under both urinals everyday by noon

I put receiving cock instead of receiving dock in the instruction part of a purchase order

My new drug dealer is my doctor. PGP.

This isn’t the job I deserved, but the job I needed. PGP.