I stop doing anything productive around 2:30 on Thursday. PGP.

No plans are the best plans. PGP.

The “Yeah, I can get drunk on $25” conversation with yourself every Friday. PGP.

Finding new ways to cover up your fart sounds. PGP.

The less people I have to talk to in the morning, the better. PGP.

Everything I do is “above my paygrade.” PGP.

The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. PGP.

These Cyber Monday deals aren’t that good. PGP.

Being too smart for Black Friday, but too poor to pass it up. PGP.