My parents asked what I wanted for my birthday. I said a brake job on my truck. PGP.

Button just popped off my pants. I’m giving a presentation in 20 minutes. My belt hides it, but I don’t know what will hide my shame. PGP.

My Halloween news feed went from a bunch of girls in slutty costumes to a bunch of babies in costumes. PGP.

I’m really going to start taking things seriously next week. PGP.

I didn’t drink this weekend, by choice. PGP.

Trying to figure out a Halloween costume is giving me anxiety. PGP.

Feeling untouchable after your boss comes to talk to you and you actually have work on your computer screen. PGP.

Made the big financial splurge for Spotify Premium. PGP

I lost the radio war in the office. Now, I hear “All About That Bass” at least five times a day. PGP.

It’s “bring your space heater to work” season. PGP.