I’ll know who my future wife is when we both get pissed at the bartender during last call and both start verbally abusing him at the same time. That’s when I’ll know she’s the one. PGP.

Planning my afternoon nap as soon as my alarm goes off at 7. PGP.

Whoops, got drunk on a Tuesday. PGP.

World needs plenty of bartenders. PGP.

Using Sunday as an excuse to overeat because you are, “starting your diet fresh on Monday.” PGP.

This week used to be fall break. PGP.

I am visibly ill. My boss has yet to tell me to go home. PGP.

Trying to get into your car with your access badge after work. PGP.

Still trying to convince myself that I am one, really big poop away from my pants fitting right again. PGP.