I only check my 401k to remind myself that I actually have assets somewhere in this world. PGP.

My desk chair was taken away to use in a meeting. I had to stand all morning. I have a broken foot. PGP.

Got caught Tindering during a meeting. I then had to explain to several of my managers what Tinder was. I can’t tell if they are disgusted or sorry for me. PGP.

Thursdays are like getting blue balled by the weekend. PGP.

Rookie mistakes. Veteran consequences. PGP.

Being way too excited about a lateral jump within the company for no extra money, but a parking pass to the garage. PGP.

I’m better prepared to get Ebola than to get someone pregnant. PGP.

Having to save up for any purchase over $100. PGP.

Fruit is fucking expensive. PGP.