Getting drunk and adding people I barely know on LinkedIn. PGP.

You either blackout a hero, or drink long enough to see yourself become the villian. PGP

It will take me approximately 157 years at my current salary to earn what 21 year old Jordan Speith has earned so far in 2015. PGP

Went to lunch at Twin Peaks yesterday, caught myself watching golf lessons on the big TV the whole time. PGP.

Freshman 20, post grad 30.

Had to actually send a fax today. In the year 2015. PGP.

Office coffee machine broke. I’m about to lose my shit. PGP

Why does Tinder still have a “feels like spam” option? It’s always fucking spam. PGP.

My piss is always dark yellow. PGP

The first and the last hour of each day is wasted on nonsense internet browsing. PGP