The Engineering Department has a 56-inch flat screen mounted on the wall in full view of everybody on their side. I am not in the Engineering Department. PGP.

I just compared myself to Gil Humplestead. PGP.

Enthusiasm over a quality pen. PGP.

I was told to re-write the employee handbook. Does this mean I make the rules? I feel like Oprah. PGP.

My rent now could cover my entire house’s rent in college. PGP.

Shit’s expensive. PGP.

My alarm is set for 6:47AM because I NEED those extra two minutes of sleep. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

There’s no way anyone at work could confirm or deny that I was here today. Why am I here? PGP.

Negative 16 hours of vacation time and counting. Maybe no one will notice. PGP.