My flight for work takes off five minutes before the USA game starts. PGP.

All I do is work, work, work no matter what. Got money on mind, I barely have enough. Every time I step up in the building…I can’t wait to get out of here. PGP.

Pulled a muscle having drunk sex over the weekend, I told my coworkers it’s a tennis injury. PGP.

Our VP of Marketing is wearing Target sandals at Happy Hour. Here I am thinking a promotion would mean nicer things. PGP.

The one week on, one month off workout routine. PGP.

The office’s bipolar HVAC system causing you to turn your space heater on full blast in the middle of summer. PGP.

When the highlight of your week is getting on the PGP wall. PGP.

I contemplated putting a blow-up doll in the passenger seat so I could get away with using the carpool lane. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.