I want to trash my office on the way out tonight and just ride off into the sunset a hero. PGP.

My girlfriend just got the “I would like to speak to a manager” haircut. #PGP

Road trips with your boss.

Had to poop on my lunch break. PGP.

I’m experimenting with new ironing techniques. PGP

I’m the only one in the office who can fix the copier when it jams. That’s real job security.

“Which way did you take to get around that accident”? #PGP

Sort by Price: Low to High. PGP.

I left the bar at 9:15 on Saturday because I was tired. PGP

Too scared to click on the “Your card statement is ready” email the day after getting back from SXSW.