Taking this dad body to Mexico

I’ve never been asked for proof that I graduated. PGP.

1: “How bout that rain last night?” 2: “Yeah, we need it, though.” PGP.

“The webinar will begin shortly. Please remain on the line” PGP

Wondering if the office milf would cheat on her husband. PGP

I don’t think anyone in my office would notice if I went missing.

Snapchat Live is just a reminder I will never be successful, rich, famous or attractive.

Icing your ankle after softball while watching 21-year-olds get drafted into the NFL.

Patiently waiting for all the baby boomers to retire so we all can just work from home everyday. PGP.

Found out I sweat the same during interviews as I do during first dates. PGP.