My boss had more of a “wild” weekend than I did. PGP.

I don’t go to happy hour with my coworkers for fear of getting drunk and telling them how much I hate them

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

Get me the fuck out of here. PGP.

Cut off from bottomless mimosas. PGP.

Skipping leg day. PGP.

Fat, but not happy.

I can relate to only 15% of the pop culture references my boss makes. PGP.

Woodford Reserve taste. Evan Williams budget. PGP