Having to choose between 20 minutes more sleep or rubbing one out before work. PGP.

Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.

How does one get into white collar crime? PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

I always wondered why people voluntarily stay late at work, then my girlfriend moved in with me. PGP.

Enthusiasm over a quality pen. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

Ugh. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.