I just want to have enough money so that I don’t have to think twice about adding guacamole. PGP.

The asshole/gentleman balance that worked in college just doesn’t work anymore. PGP.

Until recently, I thought Ariana Grande was a font in Microsoft Office. PGP.

Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.

I test my desk at least once a day to see if I could actually flip it when I eventually rage quit this job. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.

Getting so bored at work that you actually do work. PGP.

I don’t have anything witty to say, I just really hate my job. PGP.

The feeling of sheer joy when someone cancels plans. PGP.