Pants aren’t fitting so great today. PGP.

“Chip reader not working.” PGP.

Too young for the alumni tailgate, too old for the undergrad tailgate. PGP.

Land at LAX. Shuttle to the parking lot almost takes longer than flight. PGP.

I put out a literal fire this morning.

My boss’s solitaire is candy crush. PGP.

Mid-meeting I got asked why I was there. PGP.

Being troubled by how excited you get about incoming calls from unknown numbers when you’re looking for a (better) job. PGP.

Every day I wake up balder and fatter. PGP.

Just ate Taco Bell…sober…alone at my desk…PGP.