Putting in my two weeks soon. Can’t stop fantasizing about never seeing these people again. PGP.

If I had $1 for every time I heard the phrase “touch base” in the office, I could afford to add avocado to everything. PGP.

My old sugar momma just sent me a LinkedIn request… She is married now. PGP.

Getting transferred to a job just far enough away from DC that I can’t actually live anywhere decent or rent is too damn high. PGP.

Of course Garth Brooks got his own Sirius XM channel right after my free trial expired. PGP.

My iPhone thinks I live at my office. PGP.

Getting promoted to salary but making less than hourly. PGP.

Received a verbal warning for using 35 gigs of data on the company phone. PGP.

Check engine light. PGP.

SEC football was better when I was in college. PGP.