My financial adviser described my drinking habit as “financially irresponsible.” PGP.

I meant to send an email titled “Touching Base” to a prospective client. Instead I sent out “Touching Bae.” PGP.

Got cut off by a short bus on my way to work this morning. PGP.

Looking up expensive vacations that you can’t afford. PGP.

I like to pretend that the super hot bank teller is flirting with me, but deep down I know she’s just really nice to everyone. PGP.