My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

Finally got laid by using eharmonys free trial weekend. PGP.

Get me the fuck out of here. PGP.

I make fake reminders on post it notes and stick them to the edge of my monitor to seem busy. PGP

“You look like you could use a vacation”

Amazon has Dockers 35% off this week. PGP.

I still have “Relevant Courses” listed on my resume. PGP.

I’ve had the dad bod before dad bods were cool. PGP

Passing off a hangover as horrible allergies.

Priced out a minivan today. PGP