I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

Coworkers asked if I was even alive during the OJ trial. I defensively replied that I was 4. PGP.

The “I’m not trying to bash teachers…” preface before laying into them for complaining about pay when they get two months and all major holidays off. PGP.

There have already been several emails warning us about the consequences of taking a long lunch break for the Germany-United States game. PGP.

I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.

LinkedIn suggested that I connect with the officer who arrested me freshman year. PGP.

The not so very subtle fist pump when the handicap stall in the bathroom is vacant. PGP.

The never ending guessing game about how much you think upper management makes. PGP.

1: “Who in the fuck brewed decaf?” 2: “Some virgin.” PGP.

Hot new intern stopped by to introduce herself. HR stopped by to give me a preemptive warning. PGP.