Sweating like I ran for an hour. I mowed the lawn. PGP.

Bought a new bed in January. Still haven’t gotten laid in it. PGP.

“That morning I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of work.” -Nick Carraway. PGP.

Realizing “Friends” is bullshit, because I don’t even know five single people much less hang out with them across the hall. PGP.

Swiping left on the hot 21-year-olds just to spare myself the rejection. PGP.

This was supposed to be the Summer of George. PGP.

Coworkers talking to you about their kids going through rush. PGP.

Coworker asked if I had dental work done because my cheek looked swollen. I had a dip in. PGP.

“We need to get more granular…” PGP.