I’m at the weird age where my snapchat story feed consists of my older friends meals and my younger friends blacking out the night before. PGP

Girlfriend just said she felt sick. There goes my weekend. PGP

Had a nightmare my credit score dropped a hundred points overnight.

Someone flushed a toilet during a conference call.

Using a gift card to pay for a date. PGP.

I only own two pairs of work pants that I rotate every other week. PGP.

Getting drunk and adding people I barely know on LinkedIn. PGP.

Your married Facebook friends posting sappy romantic shit on each other’s Walls. PGP.

I now have preset AM radio stations

When someone you know views your LinkedIn profile, then neglects to connect with you. PGP.