Coming back to a voicemail after your morning dump. PGP.

Half the city is under water, still got chewed out for being 15 minutes late. PGP.

Looks like someone got some sun this weekend.PGP

Needed Skype for a work call. Didn’t have the admin password to install it. Still my fault. PGP.

Throwing up in your backyard five hours before work. PGP.

Some people prefer raw juice cleanses…I prefer bud light cleanses.

Aimlessly staring at my monitors. PGP.